Romance scams are designed by professionals and tested against thousands of targets. The protection isn't skepticism — it's a specific set of checks that happen early, before the emotional investment builds.
The most common advice about romance scams is "be careful" and "trust your gut." Neither of those is particularly useful. "Be careful" doesn't tell you what to do. And your gut is exactly what scammers are trained to manipulate — the feeling of connection, of being genuinely understood, of something special happening. Trusting it won't help when it's been manufactured by a professional script.
What actually helps is a process. Specific things to check, at specific points in the relationship, that don't depend on gut feelings or emotional state. Here's what that looks like.
This is the highest-leverage moment. Before you swipe right, accept a connection request, or respond to a message — before any conversation starts — spend 60 seconds on the profile photo.
Two checks, both free:
AI detection. Install Faux Spy in Chrome. Open the profile in Chrome, hover over the photo, click Investigate. If it comes back "AI Photo" above 80% confidence, the face was generated. The profile is fake. You don't need to think about it further.
Reverse image search. Right-click the photo and select "Search image with Google" (or drag it to TinEye.com). If the photo appears on someone else's account with a different name, it's stolen. The profile is fake.
These two checks catch different things. AI detection catches generated faces — the most common type in large-scale operations. Reverse image search catches stolen real photos. You need both because one doesn't substitute for the other. A generated face fails AI detection but passes reverse search (because it's never appeared anywhere). A stolen real photo passes AI detection (it's a real image) but fails reverse search.
Together, they take about a minute. They're worth doing on every new profile, not just the ones that feel suspicious. Suspicious-feeling profiles often aren't the ones that are actually fake. The profiles attached to the most sophisticated operations are designed to feel trustworthy.
Profile checks are the first filter. Behavioral patterns are the second. Here's what to pay attention to in the early stages of any online connection.
Pressure to move off the platform. "I'm not on this app much — let's talk on WhatsApp." This is the single most consistent behavior across romance scam operations. Dating apps have moderation and reporting. External messaging apps don't. Someone trying to run a fraudulent operation has strong reasons to get you off the regulated platform as quickly as possible. A real person who's interested in you doesn't particularly need to do this.
Overly fast emotional intensity. Strong feelings, expressed early. "I feel like I've known you my whole life." Plans for the future before you've had a video call. Talk of something special about this connection, unlike anything they've experienced. This pattern is designed to create emotional investment quickly, because investment is what makes the eventual financial ask feel reasonable. Real connection doesn't work on this timeline.
A backstory that explains why they're unavailable. Military deployment. International work contract. Oil platform. These profiles are built in advance and chosen because they sound legitimate while conveniently explaining why meeting in person is off the table. The backstory is consistent and detailed — that detail is prepared, not remembered.
Interest that feels too perfectly calibrated to you. They remember every detail you mentioned. They share your exact values and interests. They're the most attentive person you've ever talked to. Real attentiveness exists; manufactured attentiveness from a professional operator running multiple conversations simultaneously mimics it closely. The difference, in practice, is hard to detect from inside the conversation.
By the second or third week of conversation, it's reasonable to ask for a video call. A real person who likes you will find a way to do this. A fake account cannot.
Don't just ask for video — make the request specific. Ask them to do something in real time. "Can you hold up three fingers?" "Can you wave with your left hand?" "Can you show me what's out your window right now?" A pre-recorded video can't respond to a live request. An AI-generated video feed has limited ability to follow real-time instructions on demand.
If they've had an excuse for weeks — bad connection, camera broken, not comfortable on video yet — and still can't manage a 30-second video call with a simple real-time request, you have your answer. That pattern doesn't happen in real relationships with people who actually want to meet you.
If they do video call: pay attention. Some operations use brief, low-quality calls with AI-generated video or pre-recorded footage. If the call has consistent connection issues, the video quality is unusually degraded, or they can't respond to real-time requests, those are meaningful signals even if the call happened.
Don't send money to anyone you haven't met in person. This rule sounds obvious and it doesn't feel obvious when you're inside a relationship that feels real. That's the design. The rule needs to be a prior commitment — one you've decided on before the situation arises, not one you try to think through in the moment after weeks of emotional investment.
The ask takes different forms. A medical emergency. A customs payment needed to release funds. A cryptocurrency investment platform that's producing great returns and they want to share it with you. An urgent business problem they need help bridging. The story is always sympathetic and specific. The timing is always after enough relationship has been built that the request seems reasonable rather than alarming.
A few specific things to know:
Gift cards are the tell. No legitimate emergency requires payment by gift card. If someone is asking you to buy gift cards and send the codes, you're being scammed. This is true regardless of how sympathetic the story is.
Crypto transfers are chosen because they're hard to reverse. Wire transfers and crypto are both favored by scammers because banks can't claw them back the way they can a credit card charge. If someone you haven't met in person is asking for a wire transfer or crypto payment, that specific method is a red flag on its own.
The investment platform is fake. In pig butchering scams, the cryptocurrency trading platform they introduce you to — including the website, the dashboard showing your growing balance, the customer support — is entirely fictional. The gains you see are numbers in a database. None of it is real. No matter how professional the platform looks, how consistent the returns seem, or how many "successful withdrawals" they describe making — do not invest in a platform introduced to you by someone you've met online and haven't met in person. Ever.
A small payment to test isn't a test. Scammers often allow early small withdrawals specifically to build confidence before the larger extraction. A successful $500 withdrawal doesn't mean the platform is real. It means they've allowed a small payout to set up a much larger one.
This one is uncomfortable to follow, but it's consistently useful. Tell a friend or family member about the person you're talking to, early in the process.
Not because you need permission to trust someone, and not because the other person has to approve your relationship. Because these operations are specifically designed to be experienced alone. The sense that the connection is special and private, that others wouldn't understand — that isolation is part of the script. It means there's no one with outside perspective watching the situation develop.
An outside perspective catches things you can't see from inside. The timeline of the emotional escalation. The consistency of the video call excuses. The specific combination of signals that individually have explanations but together form a pattern. People who know you and care about you will often notice something that you're too invested to notice yourself.
This is the hardest advice to follow, because the romantic context makes it feel like a violation of something private. The fact that it's hard is partly why it's worth doing.
If money has been sent, or if you've discovered you've been talking to a fake account: stop all contact immediately. Don't try to confront the person — skilled operators will use the confrontation to deepen the manipulation or pivot to a recovery scam.
Don't pay fees to recover your money. If anyone contacts you offering to recover funds from a romance scam for a fee, they're running a secondary scam on the same victim. There is no recovery operation. Law enforcement doesn't charge fees.
Report to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov. This creates a record that feeds into federal investigations. You may not get your money back from reporting, but your report contributes to enforcement actions that affect these operations.
Report to the FBI's IC3 at ic3.gov — especially if the fraud involved cryptocurrency investment, wire transfers, or losses over $10,000. The IC3 tracks patterns across cases and uses aggregate data to build larger investigations.
Contact your bank immediately about any wire transfers. Some can be recalled in the first 24-72 hours if you act fast. Credit card purchases have more protection than wire transfers or ACH payments — contact your card issuer about any charges related to the scam.
Report the profile on whatever platform the contact started. The account may already be flagged or removed, but your report adds to the data that helps platforms detect and remove similar accounts faster.
And consider reaching out to the Global Anti-Scam Organization, which provides resources and community support for romance scam victims. The emotional aftermath is real and it's worth having support through it.
Check the photo before any conversation. Watch for the behavioral pattern — off-platform pressure, fast emotional escalation, consistent video unavailability. Use a live video call with a real-time challenge as a verification step before anything significant. Never send money to someone you haven't met in person, regardless of the story. Tell someone you trust about the person you're talking to.
None of this makes online dating less possible or less worthwhile. It makes the time you invest in real connections more protected. Most people on dating apps are real. The ones who aren't are running a specific, recognizable script. Knowing the script is the protection.
For more on the mechanics of how romance scams are structured, see the article on how catfish scams work. For the warning signs in detail, see the romance scam warning signs guide and the blog post on 10 signs someone is catfishing you.
10 free checks per day. Works on any website in Chrome.
🕵️ Add to Chrome — Free